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My Piece
 Matt LeBlanc (12-12-01)

The Attorney General of the United States, Mr. John Ashcroft, has again put everyone inside the Union on-alert. I am not talking about the Triple-double secret high-priority alert we are supposed to be under because they expect more terrorist attacks, we are now on alert for attacks on us by our own government. You see, John Ashcroft and his minions now have the right to pull you off the street, imprison you, not tell you why you are sitting in jail, interrogate you, still not tell you why, all because your ancestor was either Arabic or Muslim. Not to sure about you, but that worries/upsets me. I remember a couple states in Europe who did this in the early to middle part of the last century, they were Germany and The Union of Soviet Socialist Republics. The United States condemned them, and yet, now our union is carrying out a similar policy. And to combat the wave of criticism for this horrible policy, Ashcroft is claiming it is "necessary" in war time for everyone's security, and is calling the criticizers "Un-American" and "full of negativity." I contend that what these Un-American people, myself included, are doing is being critical and objective thinkers, such as those that founded this very Union. Of course we are the type of people the government propagandists hate, because we see past their brainwashing mechanisms and actually point out when the government is not working in the best interest of the people. Now I know why the people of Missouri voted a dead guy into the US Senate over Ashcroft. Of course, because I am of Syrian decent and I just spoke out against this racist, "Un-American," policy, I expect Mr. Ashcroft's Gestapo to be at my door no more than 15 minutes after this column is posted.

So I checked my history books, and as far as I can tell this is the first time the United States of American has carried out a war against a state that was involved in no outside aggression to provoke the attack. To put this in clearer terms, the United States attacked Afghanistan without Afghanistan attacking anyone first. The United States are the aggressors. Was the massive bombing that took many innocent lives in Afghanistan warranted? Some would say it is a tough question; I say the clear, correct answer is NO. So you ask, what about the attacks on New York and the District of Columbia? Well, as far as the collective government of the United States will let us know, Al-Qaeda, not Afghanistan, carried out the attacks. So when the government of Afghanistan said to the United States, "We have lost Osama Bin Laden, if you come to look for him we will not attack you," the United States should have done just that because that is what the US is doing right now. Of course by this point the only remaining structures in the country have been destroyed, including the neighborhoods viscously hit by US bombers that the US government is doing it's best to conceal, and hundreds of innocent lives have been lost due to bombs of mass destruction burning people to nothing. If you would for one moment, please try to imagine what it would be like to wake up in the morning, realize that absolutely no one in the world is helping you (the Taliban and Northern Alliance have both murdered thousands of Afghanis, and the Northern Alliance also has a very strong Rape record), and then watch a bomb fall a mile away from you, only to have your final moments on earth spent feeling yourself burn. Boy am I proud to be an American.
So new developments in the worst run company in Taxachusetts. Charter Communications, who runs Newswatch 3 in Worcester, is now censoring news content. Recently, when the local firefighter and teacher unions staged a protest against Newswatch 3's demise outside of the Charter Office, Charter responded by calling the police and telling Newswatch 3 they could not report the protest. Veteran Worcester news anchor Martin Morenz left the station minutes before the newscast saying, "I can't work like this." I don't need to tell you that news censorship goes against pretty much everything Taxachusetts originally staged a war against Great Britain to gain freedom for. I shouldn't have to tell you to be outraged by a cable company controlling what news and information you receive. What worries me the most as news continues to conglomerate is that soon we will have all news outlets in one region owned by one company, and then the people of that region will know only what the corporation wants them to know. Chalk one more up on the scoreboard against freedom of the press. I think Chief Censor and Scum of Charter Communications Worcester, (which I am still convinced the corporate office in St. Louis does not know exists) Gordon Champion, should be deported by New Hampshire, though he is a life-long citizen, his crimes warrant his movement to Taxachusetts, where the good people of Worcester and the surrounding area should Tar and Feather him right outside those failing Common Fashion Outlets.
Inventor Dean Kamen, whose studio is in Bedford, New Hampshire, unleashed "It" last week on the Good Morning American program. "It," or Segway as the machine is called, is an electric scooter that "runs all day for only pennies." The scooter is run by gyroscopes and a processing system far more complex than anything the Microsoft brain trust has been able to come up with. The little machine is supposedly impossible to fall off of, and moves forward, backwards, and even changes direction just by a slight movement of your body. I was highly anticipating what this world changing machine would be, and I find it to be one of the worst inventions ever. The only purpose this child's toy has is to promote more laziness, and deterioration of life. Exercise less, get to where you need to go quicker, speed up your pace of life, and make every day more hectic. That is all that Segway is good for. If it wasn't bad enough the people in the United States already lead the most hectic and stressful lives of any developed States, we now have a new and convenient way to make these even worse. All I can see coming from this is more divorce, more anger, and more violence by groups of teenagers beating up adults in their 40's and 50's because they look so stupid riding on a scooter that would better fit Elroy Jetson. And even more brilliantly, the Unites States Postal Service, who by the way is raising stamp prices again to combat mass debt, has bought over a 1,000 of these things to be used by their urban postal carriers in two cities. Let's see how this "can't fall off" claim holds up when the first doverman attacks it.
I was driving on Interstate -81 between Scranton and Wilkes-Barre, and I now see why more and more people are leaving this area of Pennsylvania. While passing between the two cities, the State made me fell as if I was 6 years old being warned and scolded by a mean teacher. They get their point across with bright orange signs that include brilliant slogans such as: Heavy Truck Area, Wear Your Seatbelt Everytime,and Aggresive Driver High Crash Area. The best sign of them all is the ever poetically written "Don't Tailgate." I am so thankful I saw that sign because I was riding two inches off one of those new Chevy Impalas for at least 2 miles, and once that sign jogged my memory that tailgating is BAD, I backed off. Just another great way Pennsylvania is using their tax payer's money for the better good of all.
I was feeling a little bit patriotic the other day, and as I was hit by a wave of nationalistic pride I found myself on E-Bay purchasing a New Hampshire flag for $8.00. It now hangs proudly in my apartment.
I had the privilege of attending the re-opening of the beautiful State Theatre in Ithaca, New York on December 5, and I would advise all fellow theatre lovers to give it a look if you are in the area. The theatre had been closed for almost 5 years after the city condemned it, but due to some grants from all levels of government and a lot of hard work by the good people at Historic Ithaca, it will now let a new generation experience the amazing acoustics in this gem in Central New York. I would personally like to see the Paramount Theatre in Boston re-open. I propose we begin a nonprofit organization, raise money, buy the theatre, and get in there and re-build it. I'm serious, so anyone who is interested get in touch with me and we will get this off the ground. If we raise enough money we will be able to operate solely off our endowment.
I was a little distressed to hear about World Sailing Champion Sir Peter Blake's death last week. It was not Blake's death that distressed me, I actually couldn't care less about that, it was his being killed by Brazilian Pirates at the mouth of the Amazon that troubled me. I ignorantly thought that Pirates had been reduced to historical stories and the various Peter Pan movies. Unfortunately I was wrong, and the mouth of the Amazon has been removed from my "to travel to" list.
Matt LeBlanc is from Manchester, New Hampshire, and he gladly accepts questions and comments at mleblan1@ic3.ithaca.edu

 

 
Ashcroft is is calling the criticizers "Un-American" and "full of negativity."
Of course we are the type of people the government propagandists hate...
Checking the history books... this is the first time the U.S. has carried out a war against a state that was involved in no outside aggression to provoke the attack...
...watch a bomb fall a mile away from you...
...what worries me the most as news continues to conglomerate is that soon we will have all news outlets in one region owned by one company...

Inventor Dean Kamen whose studio is in Bedford, New Hampshire. (Photo Courtesy: Reuters)
...the only purpose this child's toy has is to promote more laziness...
...I now see why more and more people are leaving this area of Pennsylvania...
...the beautiful State Theatre in Ithaca, New York...
...it was not Blake's death that distressed me...