I have always been amused by the occassional mindlessness of our favorite television news anchors. When people watch, it seems rather conversational ... perhaps it even makes sense! But when transcribed *verbatim* the story changes entirely.... Below is a sampling of some finer moments, the context in which they were made, and the station on which they were broadcast.

October 31, 2000 ..after a story about kids at Halloween... Aaron: Well I don't know about you guys, but I liked the Egyptian girls there, they were pretty crazy... Cara: I like the little princess... Aaron: Did you like the princess? Cara: I always liked getting dressed up as a kid. Aaron: Did you? Cara: I kind of miss it... Aaron: The candy's the best part. Cara: It defnitely is because it lasts days and days afterwards Aaron: That's right, that's right. (Haha) February 8, 2001 ..after a Sportscast... Jeff: I have to ask you, Dave, Dave: What-- Jeff: will they be using the big word, the Dave Lefcheck big word of the night, Juggernaut? Dave: Juggernaut. Yeah. I, I'm not sure if juggernaut will appear at all this weekend, but, uh, three times tonight, that must be some sort of record... Jeff: It is a record. I think you're really excited about juggernaut. Dave: Juggernaut. Jenny: Juggernaut. And plethora. Jeff: And plethora. Dave: plethora. Jeff: Juggernaut and plethora. Jenny: Very interesting! Jeff: But before we get... Dave: I'm a vocabulary machine tonight. Jeff: Yes. Before we get into trouble, we should move on. Dave: We should. Jeff: OK. Jenny: OK. On Cincinatti's Channel 9 in May, 2001 Courtesy: Enquirer.com's John Kieswetter Stacy: “Look at that. That's beautiful. Uh-huh!” observed Ms. Case when meteorologist Pete Delkus opened his segment Thursday with a weather shot. Stacy: I need just a little bit of rain,” she told Mr. Delkus Wednesday. “I cut the grass too short. I'm in trouble at home.” On Ithaca's NewsWatch 16: ...this happy-talk followed a rather serious story about Kellogg's Corporation purchasing the company that makes Keebler Elves... Christina: There's gonna be absolutely no more Keebler Elves... they're going to be Kellogg Elves... I guess... Matt: Then they're going to have to vacate that tree they live in...?! Christina: Oh, I don't know, Matt. Matt: It looks like a nice little home there... Christina: Ha ha! Maybe they'll call it the Kellogg Tree Matt: I hope not! Christina: Ha ha! On Thursday, March 15, 2001 on WHDH-TV ...after a re-open which features all of the anchors in it.... Chris: Well, we can certainly see how Kim's hair has changed over the years... Kim: Thanks for pointing that out... Chris: No, it's because bangs are back in... Kim: Which leads us to our next story on fashion for the summer season! October 15, 2000, Ithaca's NewsWatch 16 ...after a story about some very heavy rains... Christina: Wow. Catfish swimming in the apartments. Matt: Absolutely. Christina: That's a lot of water. We, we have some water here, too. Are we going to have some more rain this weekend? Nick: We've got a lot of water, but we're not going to be seeing any rainbow trout swimming in our basement. Christina: Good! Nick: But we do have a chance of seeing a fresh snow shower. Christina: Wow! That's scary. November 16, 2000, Ithaca's NewsWatch 16 ...after a story about a high-tech and cool-gadget show... Christina: I didn't know how to say that, "Aiebo," I'm guessing... Matt: You know what kind of worries me, these robots that babysit, Christina, that's over a million 14-year olds out of a job. Christina: I know! You're right! You know, all that money I made when I was 14... I don't know what I would... Matt: I don't know. And then you got dogs that are responding... I hope it's not another Furby! Christina: I know. But the E-Mails that smell... that could be ... definitely interesting... I don't know how... I'd like to, uh, ha ha! Matt: I'm looking forward to rose scent coming out of my computer... Christina: Yeah, I don't know that I'd want anything else though ... ha ha Matt: Ha ha Together: Alright, thanks for joining us. Matt: Thank you very much for being here tonight on NewsWatch 16. I'm Matt LeBlanc. Christina: And I'm Christina Medina. Stay tuned for, uh, next Sunday for NewsWatch 16... April 12, 2001 NewsWatch 16, Happy Talk After Sports -- First-hand account from anchorman Cayle Thompson ***The scene: 3 shot on Camera 1. Dave Lefchack, left. Cayle, center. Jenny Rizzo, right. Dave has just finished talking about sports. I had NO earthly idea what to “happy talk” about, so Jenny suggested the beautiful weather and how it was perfect to play out-door sports in... only I wasn’t paying attention to Dave when he finished up on indoor HOCKEY. Dave: All the games in the NHL still scoreless, but it’s early on. Cayle: Oh wow! That’s great! And, of course, what wonderful weather they’ve had to play with... I mean, you cannot ask for anything more! Dave: It’s great weather. And... uh... the weather for the NHL play-offs is always the same. It’s 72 degrees indoors... so they always have great weather. Cayle: Perfect, as always! Jenny: HA! Cayle: Thanks a lot, Dave. Jenny: Thanks Dave. Dave: No problem. Happy Talk After Tiger Cub Story NewsWatch 16 Thursday, April 12, 2001 First-hand account from anchorman Cayle Thompson ***The scene: Jenny Rizzo, right. Cayle, left. We’ve just finished reading a story on a 2-shot about baby tigers at the Berlin Zoo with VO of these vicious little boogers clawing at each other and squirming to get free of the people holding and smothering them with affection. Jenny thinks they’re cute... I think they’re deadly. Jenny: Those cubs look so cute, don’t they!?!? Cayle: Oh, they’re absolutely adorable! Well, until they get older and bite your hand off or something... Jenny: I would LOVE to hold one of them! It’s so cool that they got to! Cayle: Well, they are cute... they are cute when they’re little and I’m sure they’re absolutely adorable. But I don’t think I’d care for one in my house, personally. Jenny: Well, I suppose you could get a pet pig or something else. Cayle: I suppose I could. Jenny: Something unique. Cayle: Yeah... well, recapping our top stories tonight...